The team habit builder can be especially useful in moments of conflict. By orienting around a shared purpose, it gets us away from “right-wrong” thinking which often put us against each other.

Step 1: clarify the shared purpose. Finding a shared purpose allows everyone to be on the same “side”. This can dramatically change a conversation from one which is all about “right-wrong” to “toward-away” from a shared purpose. Even groups that appear very far away from each other can still find a shared purpose.

One of our colleagues was asked to meet with two groups in Washington. One group supported gun control while the other supported gun rights. But he was still able to come up with a shared purpose: safety. With this in mind, the two sides could discuss options that were realistic for both of them.

Some ways to identify a shared purpose might sound like:

“Can we agree that we have a shared purpose of serving the client?” or “We're all aligned on producing a high quality product.”