What thoughts or feelings might get in the way of showing up the way you want to? It is easy for our survival minds to take over in conflict. When we feel under threat, our survival mind activates and can shut down our frontal lobe. We start reacting on instinct and these are often short term reactions that move us away from our values.

Start to notice what thoughts and feelings prompt you to make away moves. Anger, frustration, shame, embarrassment, sadness, and fear can all move us away. Thoughts like “I don’t deserve this”, “this is unfair”, “I can’t stand this” ,“what’s the matter with them?”, and “who do they think they are?” can all move us away.

Remember, it’s not about whether these thoughts are true or not, it’s about whether they will lead you toward or away from your values.

Start recording these in the habit builder and then practice skills so that you can make more toward moves.