Because we’re framing things as toward or away from shared purpose, it allows us to discuss difficult topics. Using this as a tool, we can actually build psychological safety in teams.

For example, one of our colleagues was discussing toward and away moves with a team. One member of the team stated that “shushing”, for her, was an away move. This came as a surprise to the leader who often shushed people. For the leader, it was a fun, harmless way of teasing others. But for the team member it brought up memories of being the only black child in school and being shushed by her teachers.

Without the team habit builder, this team member had no way to bring up the topic. By orienting the discussion around "toward and away", it is easier to make room for differences in opinion and experiences. We can make room for cultural differences.

For example, one team member might say “in my culture looking someone in the eyes is a toward move” and another team member might say “in my culture looking someone in the eyes is a sign of disrespect – it would be an away move.” It’s better to have these discussions than to avoid them.

But we often do avoid them because they’re uncomfortable, awkward or difficult. The habit builder is the tool you need in order to have these sensitive conversations. Remember, avoiding things doesn’t actually make them go away and it usually just makes things worse.